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“Most of the mistakes in thinking are inadequacies of perception rather than mistake of logic.”
— Edward de Bono
Can you identify with the thoughts mentioned below?
We may be able to relate to some of these thoughts with varying degrees of intensity.
Never-ending negative thoughts often make the subject bigger than it is in our minds, thus robbing us of our peace of mind and happiness. Such thought processes become an easy formula for negative thinking, which draws people into depression, anxiety and low self-worth. When stressed with a tirade of such negative thoughts, we start to wonder if there is a more efficient way to overcome them. Many motivational speakers and self-help guides uphold that positive thinking is a choice, but it seldom feels that simple.
“Negative thoughts are cognitions about the self, others, or the world in general that are characterized by negative perceptions, expectations, and attributions and are associated with unpleasant emotions and adverse behavioural, physiological, and health outcomes.”
– (Hawkley, 2013)
The negative thinking description from Rethink Mental Illness specifies that:
“Negative thought refers to a pattern of thinking destructively about yourself and your surroundings. While everyone experiences negative thoughts very often, negative thinking that seriously affects the way you think about yourself and the world and even interferes with work/study and everyday functioning could be a symptom of a mental illness, including depression, anxiety disorders and personality disorders”
The origin of negative thoughts is generally based on the negative core beliefs that we have about ourselves and the way we see the world. Learning is based on observation and experience and when while growing up if both has impacted a person negatively then they seem to absorb and implement that.
For example: If you were always compared to someone while growing up; you tend to become more critical about yourself.
If you saw your parents not sharing a great bond, there is most likely possibility is that you might end up doubting your relationship.
If you’ve experienced infidelity, the thought of having a meaningful bond again seems like a task.
It’s as if our negative experiences and observations starts controlling the way we should behave rather than being our authentic self. It’s quite natural but it’s possible to have a better understand about our cognition in order to not hold onto these negative thoughts. It’s important to know and explore what could be the possible cognitive errors that makes us feel and think this way in order to try and overcome it.
Cognitive errors are irrational thoughts that ca influence your emotions. Everyone experiences these errors to some extent but their more extreme forms can be distressful for a person. The checklist of these errors are:
Negative thinking can be incapacitating for the person suffering from them. It often also disturbs the people around the individual. Below mentioned are some of the impacts of negative thinking:
Mostly people just chain themselves into a loop of negative thoughts without asking themselves the right questions. Few of the important questions you need to ask yourself are:
One of the common mistakes is accepting someone else’s beliefs and opinions without questioning it enough. Sometimes we just borrow a negative belief and make it our own. Few things to ask here are:
It’s very important to sort out some of your negative core beliefs and not rather seek evidence to make it true. Your negative core beliefs may sound like:
I am worthless
I don’t feel I’m enough
I am stupid
I am fat or ugly
I don’t deserve good in life, etc
It’s important to gather evidence against these negatives beliefs and not let these beliefs define who you are.
Most we also tend to become negative if the environment around is not facilitating. It could be coming from parents, siblings, relationships, friendships, relatives, etc. It’s important to understand that if something is hampering your growth, you’re allowed to keep an arms distance from them without feeling guilty about it. Spending time on positive sources like yourself, your hobbies and interests, will give you a motivation to look forward.
Generally having a healthy lifestyle helps you overcome negative thoughts effectively. Sleeping on time, making a good diet, working out for your physical body, meditation for your mind and spending time with people who love and value you will add on more substance into your life.
Explorer more about how to deal with negative thoughts here and how to cultivate optimism
Also, if you feel these negative emotions are still very difficult to manage then reaching out to a counselor or therapist is always suggested. This will help delve deeper and understand what are some of the challenges that you’re facing and where is it coming from. A different perspective to look at things might help you give your life a new direction.
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