Are you someone who is a people pleaser?
Do you frequently say “yes” to requests only to later regret it?
Do you often prioritize the needs of others over your own?
If you said “yes” to any of the aforementioned questions, learning to say “no” might be helpful.
Human relationships and interactions depend a lot on reciprocity, thus we tend to think that breaking social norms may threaten our relationships with others. “Social connection and a sense of belonging are one of our most basic wants. According to Dr. Vanessa Bohns, assistant professor of management sciences at the University of Waterloo in Canada, saying “no” feels like a threat to our connections and relationships. In the midst of our struggles to blend in and win over our contemporaries, we worry that if we say “no,” those very peers would reject us. The desire to avoid disagreements or confrontations contributes to the fear of saying no. People frequently worry about saying no because they don’t want to let others down or offend their sentiments.
Furthermore, We live in a ‘yes’ culture where it’s believed that the go-getter who is going to progress is the person who says yes to everything that comes their way. People have also started to internalise the notion that they need to work endlessly as a result of this. It’s not entirely accurate though. People that work nonstop, overwork themselves and refuse to turn down any work eventually lose the ability to complete their tasks because of tiredness. “I’ve actually seen people’s careers take off when they learn to say no,” says a career counselor, Dara Blaine, In the times of New York.
“The Power of a Positive No: Save the Deal, Save the Relationship – Still Say No” by William Ury asserts that the difficulty in saying “no” frequently results from a conflict between the need to assert our own authority and the need to support or nurture a relationship. According to Ury, we frequently respond to requests by doing one of three things:
Yes! Saying No can actually be beneficial for you! Here are 5 benefits of saying “NO” By Monica Leong :
We know it might be not easy saying “no”. But you have to start somewhere. Explore online therapy or counseling to practice, rehearse and build your assertiveness skillset.
Being polite involves more than just words and actions; it also involves your intentions. Rather than agreeing to something without intending to follow through, it is more polite to say no up front. It demonstrates your respect for the other person’s time and right to consider alternative solutions. Additionally, it becomes simpler to establish sound boundaries that are respected by others.
Saying no the right way will be simpler if you follow these 5 steps by Nandyz Soulshine:
STEP 1. Clarity: Clearly define your priorities, available resources, time, and energy. This will enable you to respond quickly and positively to requests while maintaining objectivity.
STEP 2. Conviction: Commit to what you can while remaining true to your convictions. Saying no to less important activities and keeping your word will be easy.
STEP 3. Technique: To say “no,” use a calm yet firm voice. Give the person your undivided attention to prevent making them feel inferior.
STEP 4. Following through: Don’t second-guess your decision out of concern that you’ll offend someone or pass up a great chance. Saying no and then changing your mind would mark all of your future decisions as being “negotiable.” It will be simpler to overcome resistance if you are certain in the reasoning behind your no.
STEP 5. Practice: It’s human nature to take the simpler route. Since initially saying no can be uncomfortable and anxious, our brain seeks to return to the momentary comfort of saying yes. If you want to make the ability to say no a natural part of who you are and something that comes naturally, keep practicing.
“Saying no to small things means saying yes to big things.”
― Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words.
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