Today, we live in a world where everyone experiences confusion at some point in time when it comes to dating. Women are confused about men; Men are confused about women, and they don’t really know why. In the realm of dating, there is a lot of friction which goes on. The art of dating is what causes this friction.
What do we really mean when we say dating – Is it seeing someone in the preliminary stages of a relationship? Is it more like the concept of ‘free love’? Dating is an acquired skill that demands good communication, most importantly. Some women feel that they must be fair and honest with every single thing that has ever happened to them in their lives, and share it with the man they have feelings for. Similarly, some men apply the same theory to their relationships. The truth here is – in the fair and honestWhat do we really mean when we say dating – Is it seeing someone in the preliminary stages of a relationship? Is it more like the concept of ‘free love’? Dating is an acquired skill that demands good communication, most importantly. Some women feel that they must be beginning stages of dating, there is no reason for men and women to reveal everything about themselves or their past relationships through which they have evolved as a better individual. One must enclose themselves at their own stride, and not too early so as to maintain privacy and respect for each other. By doing so, we tend to balance the parameters of our relationship by sharing what is more relevant and presently important. While we talk about not being too eager to share everything, excessive secrecy is also a matter of big concern in any relationship.
Researchers from Stanford conducted a study to find out what makes couples feel connected. Results showed that words matter a lot when they talk. Women who were engaged in the conversation and Men who were trying to pay attention and understand what those women were saying were more likely to have successful dates and future relationships.
When we date, we start valuing and admiring each other’s opinions, feelings, concerns, and beliefs. We also begin to recognize the differences among each other. Regardless of our distinct learnings, it is quite gratifying to embrace the dissimilarities between two partners rather than trying to constantly act like the other gender. More than competing with each other, dating gives us a chance to know and complement each other’s positive and negative traits.
Often there comes a moment when we are unable to decode the expectations of our partner. We fail to understand our potential partner’s actions; and may even juggle between our decision to take a step forward or not. This leads to dating frustration. When we feel frustrated, we tend to take out all our negative emotions at our partners. It gets taxing to continue dating, or in some cases, to not offer a commitment to our partner. There are some ways by which we can deal with this dating frustration and help reduce its intensity:
Never approach your partner when you’re at the peak of your anger
Rearrange your thoughts, and before you begin to interact with your partner, practice a few breathing/stress-reducing techniques. Be calm, breathe in and out and then initiate a conversation by keeping your point.
Ask yourself every time you’re frustrated, “Will this be important next to next week?”
If your answer is a yes, gain a perspective after knowing the other side of the story and facilitating your decision. If your answer is a no, you should feel your aggression deflate a bit, post which you can try to calm yourself down once you know it won’t last long, after a few days.
Identify the triggers that make you feel infuriated
Pinpoint what is bothering you. If you say “you’re so annoying” to your partner, replace it with what makes them annoying like “it frustrates me when you don’t listen to me first and start your own things”. By stating the reason behind your emotion and using personalized statements, one can make things less complicated.
Find ways to ease your anger by modifying your behavior towards your partner
If your special someone forgets to take you out on a date you that both had been planning for a while, simply resolve it by taking them out on an unplanned date; or you can also set up reminders for them to not forget it next the time around. After all, it is natural to forget things when you have other important tasks to take care of as well. Why make it big enough to create boundaries between two special creatures?
Laugh it all out
Yes, trust me…it works! Humour has the power to defuse a situation. You may tell your partner to do something funny that is bound to make you laugh and calm you down. The two of you may prepare a list of things to lighten up the day for you.
Pump yourself up
Go to the gym, run or jog around, get active. This way, you can sweat it out and channelize your aggression and frustration in a positive manner and get some productive outcome out of it as well. What better than a healthy body?
Identify prospect solutions in the case of multiple concerns
Jot down a list of possible solutions yourself, or if you feel like, with your partner. Don’t pay attention to whether it would be a success or not. Just brainstorm alternatives that could work out for the two of you!
Have a future perspective, if you really want things to become right
Imagine things got perfectly fine between you and your partner – how do you feel? Visualize the outcome you’re working for and set your sight on achieving that outcome. Just focus on fixing the situation to make your bonds healthy. It is wise to be prepared for downfalls, but by having a healthy vision to look forward to, bouncing back to a good phase with your partner would become easier.
Image source: huffingtonpost.com
Stay hopeful and positive! Don’t let your temporary dating frustration or aggression come between the sweet bond that you and your loved one share! 🙂 Need Help.. Go for Couple Counseling by BetterLYF
References: pairedlife.com, match.com
Seeking help is a sign of courage. Don't let self-limiting beliefs hold you back from a life you deserve. Avail online therapy to become happier and better. Learn how
Disclaimer: Please note that we are not a crisis intervention helpline. Should you have severe symptoms or have thought about harming yourself, please seek immediate medical help or call suicide prevention helplines such as
Aasra 24x7 Helpline: 91-22-27546669