The idea of free love and having multiple relationships at the same time is a radical new idea in a world that glorifies monogamy.
Is there a right or wrong way of having relationships?
Is monogamy the perfect situation, or being polyamorous have its perks?
Both systems have pros and cons. In an ever evolving, diverse world, is there a one-shoe-fits-all answer when it comes to love?
Let’s explore both structures
Polyamorous relationships involve dating more than one person at a time. Sometimes these free relationships last for years, with all partners agreeing and sharing wonderfully.
Being able to fall in love and not possess to worry about limiting your feelings to one person for all eternity is kind of freeing. You feel free of the limitations and restrictions of social norms. You will be regularly repaid with new experiences collected from being able to love as many people as your heart desires.
2. Individual Maturity
Polyamory involves meeting people who bring along their subjective, unique experiences, personalities, ideologies and the relationships will be shaped by these various nuances that need to be dealt with emotional maturity, respect and openness.
Seeing more than one person indicates you have a chance to meet a bunch of people at once. This clears up opportunities for finding the select one or two humans you want to remain with for more than several periods.
Having various partners determines you have additional pillars of compassion and support to hold you through tough times. The various support networks bring a sense of comfort knowing there are various people to rely upon.
The layers of relationship needs to be met in a polyamorous relationships bring with it complexity. It can be a emotionally draining to meet the emotional and physical needs of multiple partners leading to conflicts, insecurities or resentments.
Having multiple idiosyncrasies at play requires consistent cooperation and understanding which can be challenging. Inconsistencies in meeting of needs can lead to trust issues and splinters within the relationships.
3. Social Disapproval
Polyamory is usually looked down upon in the majority of societies and religions. It can lead to biases, judgments and isolation which can be difficult to deal with.
Monogamy involves two people in a committed relationship. Humans are one of the few species that practice monogamy. Most cultures only allow for monogamous marriages.
1. Emotional Security
Monogamy is believed to ensure trust and security if the relationship is healthy, mature and compatible which might not always be the case in polyamorous relationship.
2. Financial Support
A monogamous relationship assists you to meet your financial goals faster and gain a judgment of security with debt, medical bills, and other charges that would be a difficulty to overcome if you are living and working alone or paying for the financial needs of multiple partners
3. Culturally Approved
Various cultures and beliefs promote and support monogamy. For those whose core beliefs include social acceptance and approval, they would feel more inclined to choose monogamy.
1. People change
People evolve over time. The personality you fell in love with can very well change, and you might not be able to get out of the relationship once you are committed to it due to social pressure, financial dependence, children etc.
Monogamy brings with it stability and routine as partners settle into a familiar, comfortable pattern of life. The novelty and desire might get impacted due to this monotony set in the bond between partners.
3. Hindrance in Personal Growth
Settling down could mean giving up the hopes and dreams you had for a future with only you in it. Now, you have to accommodate your partner’s future too which sometimes might not be aligned with your goals and ambitions. Monogamy and polyamory both hold their perks and challenges. In the end, you have to be able to interact with your partners about how you feel and what you want. It is not unusual for polyamorous couples to ultimately return
According to a study conducted by the NCBI (National Centre for Biotechnology Information), monogamous people have a greater chance of getting STIs than those in an open relationship. This is because somebody who is in a monogamous relationship/marriage uses protection and conducts STI tests less often. People in open relationships have more sexual partners, are sex-positive and hence awareness and protection measures are also much higher.
There was a time in the pre-marriage era when a child had more than one father. Polygamy ensured that only the most effective and well-adapted genes would last and the weak were excluded. So, from the prospect of the evolution of generations and individuals, it wasn’t a bad thing. As with most animals, it was essential and helpful. Back then it was about breeding, but the times and role of sexual contact have evolved. As humans evolved, reproduction is no longer the sole objective in a relationship. Now the reasons are more affiliative.
People change and even our concept of love with time. Choose what aligns with your authentic self. Creating meaningful relationships that we often forget to nurture or build in a daily hustle of life, yet it could be the source of strength and happiness. We all need someone with whom we can share our truest thoughts and feelings. If you need help with your relationship or marriage then go for BetterLYF marriage counseling for best support.
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