How many of us think closure in relationships is a mere venting out of frustration to your ex, moving on or having a rebound?
Hang on to your thoughts, you will be answered while reading this article on closure in relationships.
Meanwhile, have a look at the picture below:
What do you see in this picture?
Feeling uncomfortable with the gaps in the figure?
Irrespective of the fact that images above are incomplete, we would tend to perceive it as meaningful geometric figures: Circle and square.
We, humans, are wired to perceive things in whole. We tend to fill any gap and space with our own presumption to give the situation/imagery/audition a fruitful meaning.
This filling in the gap and spaces of unknown to attain a meaning and perspective is called Closure.
Closure from the past would mean letting go of resentments, looking at that event of your life in a normal and not bold font.
A Conversation of closure may not be everyone’s cup of tea. It exposes a person to vulnerability and open wounds, accountability of their action and decision and responsibility of what happened and why happened. If you have any thoughts of getting back together with your ex but don’t know how, then relationship counselling may help you, but only if your ex is also willing to make the efforts. Or in case you want closure but with some explanations or a clear mind, that’s too is possible with relationship counselling.
A final goodbye through a conversation with all the points mentioned above, signifying the end of your relationship and moving on without guilt, resentment, and frustration could be the best ways of getting a closure.
We may know the answers of what brought the end and why the person would want to move on as they did, but more than often we like to hear the same to confirm or negate our beliefs about him/her or our relationship. Maybe, hearing it from the other person gives us a sense of their acknowledgment and accountability that leads to our acceptance of facts.
Last but not the least, closure comes by being empathetic. Accepting their perspective, a perspective which cannot be right can also not be wrong, of the other person.
When we focus on their feelings, situation, circumstances and not ours and accept them as they are, that is the time we fill the gaps to give that part of our life meaning and closure.
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