Rebound Relationships

What is a rebound?

A person is identified as having a rebound when he enters a relationship quite soon after a breakup. It is an undefined period wherein a person is involved in a romantic relationship while having unresolved feelings of their past relationship.

Rebounds can be a pleasant experience for some and not so pleasant for others. As the phase post-breakup is full of resentment, anger, and emptiness, someone who fills the void and helps us sail through those lonely times may bring a lot of relief.

With that said, rebounds are prone to a lot of baggage from the past. Some of the things that make rebounds difficult are as below:

• Inviting Comparison-
  Comparison with the previous partner is quite common in a rebound as we’ve not had enough time to get over our feelings and emotions. Creeping in of unresolved past into the present is likely to cause conflict.

• Clinging on emotionally-Unstable emotions and the process of healing requires time and sustained effort. At such times we may want to talk about our past and revisit it time and again. Getting used to the support from our partner can make us clingy and not give them enough space.

• Insecurity-
  Stemming from the past experience, we may fear to lose the person and exhibit signs of insecurity. It’s often counter-productive as insecurity complicates the relationship and can cause substantial differences.

Why rebounds are often unsustainable?

Owing to their peculiar nature, rebound relationships may not work in below situations:

1. Once we recover from the previous relationship and find emotional stability, we may end up feeling that we’re with the wrong person and our reasons for doing so were not rational

2. We make rebound a scapegoat of a toxic past and let negativity creep in leading to another breakup

3. Either of the people involved may not be willing to commit to the newly formed relationship which can be a put off for the other partner and make them question the relationship.

However, recent researches show that rebounds can actually be healthy in some cases. It says that people who get a rebound get over their past more quickly. There’s also enough evidence suggesting that finding someone to fill the void helps in healing.

How does a rebound help?

• Distractions-
  It is the most obvious reason why a rebound is good after a breakup. It acts as a distraction for the mean time while we learn to pull our lives together.

• Helps us get over our ex-
  While we get into another relationship soon after a breakup, a new set of people and environment replaces the old set of miseries and helps us get over those painful memories.

• Boosts confidence–
  A breakup can be a blow to our self-worth and self-esteem. A fresh start gives us new hopes and boosts confidence.

• Clearer Picture-
  A rebound could be a great way of knowing what we actually want and don’t want. It could be seen as a hit-and-trial method that people can actually benefit from.

• New perspective-
  A new relationship can bring in a new way of looking at relationships. Our shattered ego and past experiences may not allow us to do so but a rebound could work wonders here.

• It can turn into a real one-
  A rebound any day has the potential to become a long-term relationship. No proof has been found that rebounds can’t turn into a real relationship.

There’s no absolute concept of right and wrong, success and failure. As cliche as it sounds, it really depends on a lot of factors. While a rebound is seen as a short-term phase that has several negative connotations around it, there are also enough and more positives. Nature of previous relationship, emotional stability, what we seek from a rebound and what we give to it are likely to impact the outcome.

Love is not something you go out and look for. Love finds you, and when it does, ready or not, it will be the best thing to ever happen to you.

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