Around us, everyone has an outlook towards this conventional system called Marriage and as a result, society has made a narrative such as-
“Marriage means 50 – 50 efforts”,
“It is about compromises”,
“Love marriages are better”,
“Arranged marriages are better”,
“Love marriages fail more often”,
“Two people should be compatible to have a successful marriage and the list goes on”.
These narratives have been continuing for years now and it goes on and on. There are too many perceptions out there, but which one do we pick?
Taking a step like marriage is a major decision and so the confusion and the uncertainty lingers for a while with questions like, ‘Was this the right decision? There are so many issues, how do I work around this? Adjustment is taking a toll, or is not happening at all, should I continue or should I not?’
We keep mulling over many more such questions. Marriage Counselling can play an important role in our lives and help us navigate through most of these complexities that surround us.
How can Marriage counseling help?
Marriage counseling is offered by a Professional psychotherapist who is going to employ methods to learn about your relationship presenting concern and use therapeutic techniques and skills to help the couple.
Furthermore, you can consider pre-marital counseling if you are planning to get married, and have all your questions answered.
What can you expect from marriage counseling?
1. Opening about your key issues
Therapy is a safe space, there is no judgement in this room and the couple can open themselves up about any challenges they are facing, it is confidential and If any of them feel uncomfortable, they have the right to inform and terminate the sessions.
2. An unbiased perspective
The therapist will always view the concerns from an objective lens and will not be taking sides, and confront the couple whenever it is essential. The therapist will bring a fresh perspective and will have a vantage point to look at the relationship from.
3. Resolving issues “TOGETHER”
The counselor and the couple will collaborate and work as a team to deal with the pressing issue. The aim is not to find the “Bad guy” in the relationship but to develop a deeper understanding of the concern and the relationship itself.
4. Developing healthier responses
The counselor will help the couple gain insight into their patterns and learn better ways of communication.
5. Choose The Path
The counselor helps the couple identify the dysfunctional patterns they have engaged in and want to bring a change at the couple/individual level is a choice a couple makes at this stage decide what path to take further that is conducive for both of them
6. Empowering Partners
Couple therapy ensures a win-win situation for both the partners and not either of them must feel like losing out. The therapist makes sure to empower both the partners and prepare them for future challenges both emotionally as well as mentally.
7. Gain resources and tools
The therapist will offer tools and resources that will help the couple cultivate a loving relationship and would help the couple develop better-coping skills in stressful situations.
As Abhijit Naskar (Wise Mating: A Treatise on Monogamy) likes to put it, “Compatibility doesn’t determine the fate of a marriage, how you deal with the incompatibilities, does.”
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