Everyone at some point in time goes through breakups. No matter what may be the reason for the separation, breakups suck!! I too underwent that pain that too not long back. Like any other breakup, it was full of heartaches, followed by a lot of stupid decisions, and finally a sense of self-realization and wisdom.
It was during this phase I came across an article by Jay Haley, a family and marriage therapist who in his piece “How to have an awful marriage ?” provides an un-self help approach to help marriages succeed by showing couples the most common ways how a marriage fails.
There are tons of books and relationship coaches available who can tell you How To Improve or Save Your Relationship by taking certain steps. But, Sometimes instead of searching “What to do ?” we should search “What not to do?” This approach is so effective that not only does it solve the relationship problems, but also any problems you might face in your life. It has always worked out fine in my 21 years of life.
So if you learn How To Have a Miserable Relationship then you can have a happy one.
Why Do Relationships Fail?
It’s often thought that relationships fail because the partners involved do not work on their relationship.
This is however a myth.
On the contrary, it takes more effort to ruin a relationship than making an effort to plan out something special to do for your partner.
Relationships often fail because we subconsciously use one of the skills we will discuss below to sabotage your relationship. As stated above it takes more than time to mess up a relationship.
But don’t worry I will walk you through the ultimate guide to how to make the relationship miserable for yourself or your partner to the point that leads to separation.
TIP 1- Get in a relationship with the wrong person or for the wrong reason
If you haven’t started with the relationship game- you can guarantee yourself a relationship full of misery by making one of the two crucial mistakes.
You can either get into a relationship just to avoid a situation or your fear of being alone in your life. Trust me there are others reasons besides the fear of loneliness that drives you to get into a relationship with the wrong person.
If you choose your partner as an escape from a situation you are going through- you are sure not to enjoy their company.
You might get a good and suitable partner, but again, if you are driven by the wrong reason it’s effective as the first one.
The second thing you can do is get into a relationship with the wrong person. Example- You can be a hard-working serious guy- so get yourself a free-spirited “Bad Bitch” whom you admire for her freedom and confidence. OR If you are a similar kind of woman, get yourself a ‘Bad Boy” if you really want to have the perfect miserable relationship.
TIP 2- Communication is the key to a Fruitful Relationship
Good communication often results in a higher chance of having a perfect relationship. This is the last thing you want to do.
You are supposed to be soulmates right!! – you have one heart and mind. So make sure your partner has no idea what is it you are trying to say.
Let him figure it out on his own. It’s ok not to express your feelings. Sit back and relax- Your partner will find a way to read your mind.
But soon you would realise the bitter fact that your partner isn’t psychic. But that isn’t your fault. You can always get your way by telling them how you feel neglected and complaining because he or they couldn’t read your repressed voice.
Use tools like eye rolls, sarcastic tone, and continued silence to communicate. Signal them something’s not right but make sure your partner is completely lost while catching those signals regarding what’s bothering you.
TIP 3- The Clingier, The Better
Get dependent on your partner. If you missed your chance of getting into a relationship with the wrong person or for the wrong reason, there is still hope for you. You can mess up your relationship by being totally dependent on your partner.
Take the phrase “The Significant Other” or “The Other Half” too literally. Expect your partner to be your lover, teacher, entertainer, parent, child, healer, psychiatrist, and whatnot. Ignore the fact they have an existence outside you.
TIP 4- Always Play The Victim
Always play the victim. Do not let yourself admit it’s your fault.
Master the art of the blame game- make your partner feel guilty for oppressing you.
Take no responsibility for your actions and use it to disagree with any form of compromise possible.
Remember it’s always someone else’s fault.
TIP 5- Fight often- Fight Hard- Fight to win
once a great man said :
No issue is too small that it can’t be blown up into a large argument
In other words, take every opportunity to pick fights with your partner.
However, make sure that nothing gets changes so that you can revisit the subject and argue about it again and again. The best way to ensure that a solution never arrives is to escalate into the situation of the pity party.
When arguing remember to bring past events into a conversation, which had nothing to do with the current issue, shout when you feel like your views in the argument are simply invalid.
pretend to listen to your partner and use that to secretly plan your next move.
TIP 6- Have An Affair
If all other methods fail to ask yourself “who can I choose to have an affair with that would infuriate my partner not enough to divorce but use to get revenge or to get even
Seeking help is a sign of courage. Don't let self-limiting beliefs hold you back from a life you deserve. Avail online therapy to become happier and better. Learn how