How to Deal with Long Distance Relationships
The phrase ‘love is in the air’ literally feels quite legitimate in today’s time. Almost every consecutive person you know has a significant other. Be it a budding romance, dating, or even serious relationships for that matter - the feeling of being in love forms a very integral and important aspect of a person’s life. Romantic relationships are gaining power over time to an extent that they are able to make or break people, depending upon how things play out for each one of them.
Speaking of romance, a commonly existing cause of a turbulent relationship is distance. Yes, I am referring to long distance relationships here. In a world where everybody wants to be in love, and every individual seeking long-term commitment is keen on making things work, majority of the growing bonds fall prey to this barrier, thereby resulting in temporary separation, or even a permanent breakup. To avoid this altogether, let us discuss some of the ways by which we can deal better with a long distance relationship.
Talk about your vision of togetherness
One of the most basic things to both know, as well as understand is how each one of you envisions your relationship. At times, while one partner may not be game to continue a relationship once the distance factor sets in, the other partner would have already made up their mind to make it work, come what may. Keeping aforesaid in mind, it is important that both parties are on the same page as far as the willingness to continue the relationship despite the distance is concerned.
Do not spam your partner
It is often believed that in order to make a long distance relationship work, one needs to double their efforts, and by efforts I am referring to communication. More often than not, such relationships fall prey to excessive communication, wherein either one or both parties begin to choke on their own romance. The idea is to share your highs and lows together as a team, and this is something that does not require one to invest a major chunk of their day speaking to their partner over text, call, or Skype. Effective communication is a real thing, and it can take place without one having to ignore the other valuable spheres of their life.
It is rightly said that, “Real Gold is never afraid of the test of Fire”. Long distance relationships witness many moments wherein one wishes that they had their partner by their side, because of which, at times the feeling of overwhelmingness may set in. The key here is to be optimistic, and not view distance as a barrier, but as a learning experience. When two people are concrete about their decision to be together, then the bond that they share should be kept over and above the hardships that their romance may be subjected to. In order to live together, people must learn how to live apart - this is one mantra I would hence encourage you to follow.
Trust your relationship
This is the golden rule, always. Trust over your partner can help one avoid disagreements, heated conversations, and even separation. Remember - for somebody who has to betray you in any way whatsoever, they would do it irrespective of the distance, which means that distance does not necessarily imply one would cheat, and vice versa. While on one hand, trust can make people feel closest to a person they are farthest from; on the other hand, lack of it can make one feel emotionally detached and distant from somebody despite being located in close proximity to them. By virtue of being in love, taking that leap of faith can do wonders for your long distance relationship!
Ground rules to the rescue
For people who are investing in their relationships despite the distance, it is important to create a framework within which both parties would unanimously like their relationship to function. As individuals, we are required to cater to multiple spheres of our lives that demand our attention - our romantic equation being one of them. Setting some ground rules would help one to manage all these spheres better, and reduce or eliminate the space for disappointments, possibility of misunderstandings, as well as the scope of negatives interactions.
Play safe with your words
Couples in long distance relationships do not have the option (privilege, rather) to bond by being physically around each other; and so, what we say has a more important role-play in the way our relationship shapes up over time. A prime cause of arguments among couples is disappointment stemming from the inability of either party to meet with the expectations of the other. When this happens, instead of attacking your partner, wait to calm down. Once you are in a better state of mind, let them know of your expectation. Keeping things bottled up inside you may lead to emotional buildup; what matters here is how you say what you say. Avoid accusative statements such as “You can’t even do this for me”, or “I should have known that you will not do this”. Leave gentle reminders about the things that would make you happy, and I bet you would be good to go.
Make virtual dates a reality
Most of the times, the distance factor in a romance is beyond one’s control. However, using ways to connect with one another can certainly boost the intimacy levels that a couple shares. After-all, some creativity never did you any harm, right? Make time for each other by planning virtual dates together. It could involve watching a movie together by enabling the ‘share screen’ option on your laptop, being over video call while taking a walk outside, or even going to a coffee house over a Skype date. It would require effort, yes, but if you love your significant other above all else, wouldn’t it be absolutely worth it?
Plan your meetings and the things you would want to do together
One of the exciting, and even rewarding aspects of long distance relationships is planning your next meet together, as well as the activities that you would want to do with your partner upon meeting them. From visiting a place, to playing a sport, to spending quality time at a particular location - engaging in such kind of positive talk with one another will not only create a happy and positive environment around you, but will also help you bond better with your significant other. Receiving closure when it comes to when you would be seeing each other next by planning your time together would make you look forward to it even more.
Invest in personalised gifts
By invest I mean putting in one’s efforts, energy, and time. When a couple is unable to see each other in person due to the distance that exists between them, tokens of love can do the trick. The moments in which you miss your significant other are the times wherein you can hold on to these gifts. A great gifting method is to come up with personalised products such as: self-made Jar of Happiness, a scrapbook, a frame or pillow-cover with a collage of your romantic moments spent together, etc. Customisation is the way to go, because adding a personal touch to a gift makes it all the more special and worthwhile, and would help one feel closer-than-ever to their partner.
Engage in some goal-setting
While some are able to efficiently manage their relationships despite being physically away from one another, others may find it to be a painful experience. Either way, it is not something that one could live with forever. As a couple who is determined to spend life together, it is important to evaluate the duration for which your long distance relationship would last, and how would you as a team work around building life that would enable you to be physically close to your significant other in due course of time. When a person is goal-driven, it would make it easier for them to plan things accordingly, and would also strengthen their bonds of love with their partner, since those goals would instil a sense of security within them.
Lastly, long distance relationships may be a lot of handwork for some, but it is important to acknowledge the fact that if two people can respect, trust, care, and love each other from afar, then they sure-as-hell would become absolutely unstoppable when they finally got together for a lifetime, because that is when you know that every mile and moment spent away from each other was worth it.