Do you get jitters the moment you think about marriage? You love someone but things become different when you decide to get together? You are not sure when you are ready for this next step of life? Don’t worry, you are not the only one. Falling in love is easy, but taking the next step is difficult. Most of us experience the same challenges when we begin to think about marriage. Some common concerns that emerge are:
- Loss of freedom – I will not be able to do things freely such as going out with friends, coming back late night etc.
- Living with someone 24 hours a day – I love him/her but living with them all the time would be difficult.
- When is the right time – I am in a relationship since long, but what time is the right time to move forward?
- Lack of confidence – I am not sure if I am ready for this responsibility.
- Fear of failure – What if this doesn’t work out?
Here are some things you can do.
- Acknowledge the fear – Give yourself permission to fully experience this fear. Once we recognize that what we are experiencing is natural and happens to everyone, we are already on the way to overcome it.
- Talk about it with your partner – Once you acknowledge the fear, share it with your partner. They might also be experiencing the same and talking about it with an open heart increases your understanding and makes you realize that you both are in this together.
- Seek advice from those you trust – It is not at all bad to seek help when you are facing something like this for the first time. Talk to friends or elders who have been through it and ask them how they dealt with the same concerns, what worked and what didn’t.
- Identify the strength/weaknesses – No two relationships can ever be the same. Find out together what works between you and your partner and what doesn’t, what are the possible challenges you may encounter and strengths you may develop.
- Take full responsibility – No one can take responsibility of your marriage but yourself. You are the best person to deal with it successfully. Remind yourself of this always.
- Am I losing freedom or gaining someone to share – Having someone on your side to support you, listen to you, be there with you in all times is wonderful. Nothing can be more beautiful than this. So ask yourself if you are losing freedom or gaining it by having someone to share?