Top Relationship Goals for Modern Couples and How to Achieve Them

Top Relationship Goals of Modern Couples and How to Achieve Them

Traditionally, when it is the end of the year, it’s the time to make those New Year resolutions for ourselves. But we all know that the idea of resolutions can sometimes make us feel fleeting temporarily. How about we tend to set some marriage goals with the spouse? New years may come, resolutions can be broken, or you may fail to resolve them, but the goals present will always be a part of the marital journey. After all, what’s marriage about?

But it is to remember that the goals of modern couples are certainly different from those from the past, where modern couples face different challenges and have different values as well. One of the challenges can be that modern couples are living in a world where individuality and independence are valued more than in the previous time, making relationships and family become the second priority. But it isn’t to make your relationship a priority.

A relationship goal is a mutual understanding, an outcome, a viewpoint, or a value that you can communicate with your partner. Setting goals for marital life can prove to be an excellent activity for couples. It not only cements your life and loves of each other, but it also ensures that you both are continuing to move forward together, realizing the shared dreams and fulfilling common purposes that they have for themselves.

Your goals can be related to anything such as fitness, health, spirituality or finances, etc. But do not forget to spend your time setting goals that are realistic and specific to your marriage. Psychologists have also suggested a few parameters while setting goals for your marriage.

  • Make goal success measurable
  • Set realistic but challenging goals
  • State your goals in positive terms

If you are ready to get some ideas to set goals together to work towards a better and more fulfilling relationship, you may consider the following goals/qualities that couples set for themselves:

1.      Being comfortable in your partner’s privacy

It is also important for the couples to have time for themselves providing them with the space they require. Along with having some hobbies, work, and spending time with friends, it’s also healthy for each partner to have their identity while being in a close-knit relationship. It also provides each person with a sense of independence. You may feel happy knowing that you are trusting your partner and the partner also trusts you. Also, it helps you to from feeling bored from each other’s company and feeling like you are trapped in this relationship. Once you start spending a bit of time apart, you’ll get the chance to miss and appreciate the time you have to spend together more.

This can be achieved by:

  • Accept and support your partner’s space in the relationship.
  • Try to make separate plans for each other where you can give time to yourself and other relations.
  • Encourage each other at every point in life even if it is to pursue separate interests and passions.

It is also important to understand that spending more time together is not a bad thing for couples but being attached in the relationship isn’t good. Couples who need to be together and leave out space can be characterized as co-dependent which isn’t healthy for either of them where the goal should be to find a balance between doing things solo and spending time with each other. The things you would do apart should encourage your sense of self and make you feel happy and satisfied.

2.      Loving each other unconditionally

Each couple should always aim to love each other unconditionally wherein the goals should be to support and encourage each other to what makes the other one happy.

The time has changed now where people are actively pursuing their careers which they are passionate about. Now, women are not expected to stay at home to clean, cook and raise their children while men are the sole earning member of the family. In a modern and true relationship, the partners should support and encourage each other in whatever they would like to do but within the reason of doing so. Also, there should be a sense of secureness in their relationship.

This can be achieved by:

  • Be considerate of your partner’s feelings and thoughts.
  • Do not think that you can change your partner.
  • Have effective communication with each other sharing your worries and whereabouts.

If you are facing challenges in your marriage, try putting yourself in your partner’s place and perceive things from their end. Think about how your decisions or words would affect them. Make time and support each other by effectively communicating your thoughts and feelings to your partner.

3.      Share your gratitude daily with each other

One of the powerful habits in marriage can be to share their gratitude daily with each other. It would take a few minutes for you to share one thing that you are grateful for with your partner. It helps in reminding us to focus on what is important in our lives and receiving the same appreciation from your partner can increase your feelings of love for each other.

This can be achieved by:

  • Showing positive regard to your partner.
  • Share at least a positive thing for your partner that happened in the day.
4.      Having things in common

As compared to the past when marriages were mostly arranged for the practical reasons that they had little to do with love and connection but now the modern couples have at least a few things in common and might share the same taste in food, music or movies. Also, they may share the same interests, views, and values.

Therefore, it’s essential to have at least some things in common as it is unlikely in today’s world where two people will get together to become a couple if they don’t have anything in common. With the help of even a few things in common, it will help you to build a strong relationship with each other.

This can be achieved by:

  • Try new adventures/things together to discover your and your partner’s interests.
  • Learn new things about each other by observing.
  • Try and spend quality time with others more often to understand each other better.

A good way to build the relationship can be to never assume that you completely know your partner, whereas the truth is that you will never really be able to know your partner completely as people change with time as well. By accepting this, you will always be able to learn new things about each other. You will grow together when you will celebrate the interests and the values common in each other which will further help you to connect with your partner.

5.      Trust each other

Trust plays an essential role in relationships. Often couples have parts of their lives that are separate from each other such as hobbies, work, and spending time with friends which is even normal and healthy. Jealousy can have an impact on their relationship therefore, the couples need to have trust in each other. Opening up to your partner and sharing your feelings, in times when you face insecurities or judgments are an effective way to understand and get some reassurance from them.

This can be achieved by:

  • Being honest with others.
  • Clear out if there are any benefits of doubt in the relationship.
  • Avoiding controlling the other person.
  • If there is any insecurity or jealousy emerging, talk about it calmly and effectively.

Be open to each other and share your concerns if there is any doubt in your mind. Try and resolve them before they become a bigger issue. And don’t forget to get space with each other when it is needed.

6.      Being committed to building a future together

For having a strong and long-lasting relationship, couples need to be on the same page and open about what they want and where their relationship is heading. While some flexibility is important, the couples are needed to provide each other with stability.

Once you infer that your relationship is getting serious, it is essential to have your and your partner’s expectations on the same page. Modern couples aren’t afraid to talk and communicate about their needs to their partners and how marriage, work, children, etc can fit into their plans. If you talk and share your needs beforehand, you won’t be running into too many surprises.

This can be achieved by:

  • Being clear about your needs and wants from the relationship.
  • Making honesty and trust a priority.
  • Include the opinions of your partner while making important decisions.

Couples might not agree on a few things, but they will agree on growing old together. But for that, you may need to communicate effectively with each other and trust each other while having a will to make compromises along the way.

What is couple therapy and when to seek it?

Couples therapy is focused on helping the couples to understand their relationship better, to be able to work through the challenges faced by them and develop healthier ways of relating and communicating with each other. These therapists will ask you certain specific questions to help the partner to be able to communicate honestly and in a healthier way possible so that they can understand each other’s feelings and perspectives effectively, further equipping them to develop new ways of approaching and dealing with the conflicts. Thousands of individuals work with couples counselors every year. The good news is that of those individuals who sought out professional help, nearly 90% saw improvement in their emotional health, with nearly 66% even seeing improvement in their physical health.

Seeking help is a sign of courage. Don't let self-limiting beliefs hold you back from a life you deserve. Avail online therapy to become happier and better. Learn how



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