Valentine’s Day typically serves as a time to show appreciation for that special someone in our lives or as an opportunity to take a relationship to the next level. It’s a time to celebrate love in all of its forms.. But for some, it’s not all roses and chocolates. In fact, the bitter truth about the day filled with love is that multiple studies have shown that couples are more likely to break up in the weeks before and after Valentine’s Day. According to a study of divorce filings it was found that February is the busiest month of the year for divorce filings. People seeking referrals for divorce increase about 40% in February, with the biggest spike on the day after Valentine’s Day.
Here are some reasons psychological researchers provide behind ending the relationship on the day which is supposed to be a perfect catalyst for that perfect spark in your relationships.
Reasons – How Valentine’s Day Is Ruining Relationship?
1. Unrealistic Expectations
Valentine’s Day is all about dream dinner expensive gifts and romantic locals. We all have our own idea of the perfect night which is often influenced by the movies and the celebrities we admire. This dream night which is way beyond our reality leads to disappointments and makes the day filled with broken expectations.
Another major reason which can add the sour cream to your sweet relationship is comparison. Partners may not live up to the lofty cultural expectations associated with the holiday because their gifts weren’t thoughtful enough, the dates they planned weren’t romantic enough, for the special day. Such failures might be especially harmful when compared to others’ seemingly perfect Valentine’s Day activities. Researchers term these comparisons as “instigator hypothesis” which can have a detrimental effect on your relationship.
For relationships that may already be shaky, Valentine’s Day might highlight and even exacerbate existing issues. This is known as “catalyst hypothesis” Valentine’s Day expectations of not just a “perfect” night, but also a “perfect” relationship may make any problems seem worse than they are, causing increased dissatisfaction. Or, the pressure may just intensify negative feelings in an already dysfunctional relationship.
Basically, Valentine’s Day may be a time when all those problems that you and/or your partner might have swept under the relational rug resurface and wreak their havoc.
These are few research backed potential reasons which can ruin your relationship on Valentine’s Day.
However, there is also a brighter side to Valentine’s Day.
At any Valentine’s Day, it is not how much money we spent on buying gifts but how we treat one another that will save our experiences on Feb. 14th -and our relationships. Respect cannot be bought, and it’s the same with friendship. Our ability to be kind, empathic, compassionate and tender will determine the strength and durability of our relationship over time. Relationship success is inevitably linked to our knowledge of what we truly need from one another and each party having made peace with our own fantasy expectations.
Our counselors at Betterlyf would help you use this Valentine’s Day as a catalyst to strengthen your relationship.