Emotional Cheating: Signs And What You Can Do

Emotional Cheating

What comes to your mind when you hear someone is being cheated on? We automatically assume a sexual relationship or an affair with someone other than the partner. But infidelity comes in more ways than one. Cheating isn’t always about flirting or having sexual affairs. 

Have you heard of emotional cheating? Relationship experts state that this type of cheating destroys many relationships and is sometimes even more painful and confusing than a romantic affair. 

What is Emotional Cheating?

An emotional affair is a secretive and nonsexual intimate relationship with someone who is not your partner. If you or your partner feels a very close connection with someone else and engages in deep conversation with them in a way that you might not be with your partner, it may be a sign of an emotional affair. The rising age of social media has given a boost to cases of emotional cheating. Sending flirty texts to someone, having passionate conversations about your likes and dislikes, and sharing emotions that you have hidden from your partner may all constitute emotional cheating.

Emotional cheating can be more difficult to identify and is sometimes not even labelled as betrayal, but it can cause issues in your relationship that can be beyond repair. Experts reveal that emotional cheating leads the partner who has been cheated on into a confused state where they feel they have been lied to and deceived. 

Emotional cheating does not always have a sexual component to it. It is sometimes simply a relationship where your partner shares their deep emotions with someone else and feels a certain closeness with them. However, it sometimes becomes a reason for sexual attraction

How To Know If Your Partner Is Emotionally Cheating? 

Emotional affairs often start as harmless friendships, but the problem starts when your partner starts excluding you from conversations you should know about. This weakens the bond between you two and brings your relationship to a fragile state. Therefore, you must take care of these warning signs that point toward a cheating in relationship

  • They are telling the outsider emotions, which they don’t tell you.
  • They turn to someone else for comfort.
  • They have stopped talking to you about their feelings entirely.
  • They get defensive when you mention the other person.
  • They have started exchanging gifts frequently with them.
  • They try to keep the relationship with this other person secretive. 
  • Sudden lack of physical attraction towards you
  • They get irritated easily and often while talking to you.
  • They compare you to someone else.
  • They have stopped telling you about their needs in the relationship.
  • You find it difficult to have a deep conversation with them.
  • They tell the other person about your fights
  • They feel a very strong and intimate connection with the outsider
  • They are secretive about their text conversations and about you checking their phones or laptops.
  • They act differently in front of other people.
  • They dismiss any negative opinion you have about the other person.
  • They tell you you’re ‘overreacting’ and “making a fuss’  when you tell them about your doubts

You must remember that any one of these signs does not mean you are being cheated on. You should worry only if you notice the majority of these. Additionally, you should closely look for these signs and what they mean for your relationship. This list, or anyone else for that matter, cannot tell you for sure if your partner is emotionally cheating. In this case, you should trust your gut if you feel there’s something wrong. After all, it is you who knows your partner best. 

Signs You Might Be The One Emotionally Cheating

There are chances you might be the one having an emotional affair. You may think of it as a simple platonic relationship, but your partner might not. Recognizing the signs before it’s too late can help you make the right choices and save your relationship. How to know if you are emotionally cheating? Here are some signs-

  • You get irritated with your partner frequently and easily.
  • Frequent mood swings while dealing with your partner
  • You think that your partner will not understand how you feel.
  • You feel they are not emotionally available to you.
  • You think that your friend understands you better than your partner.
  • You share any good or bad news with your friend first
  • You become more excited and happy to meet your friend. 
  • You try to hide these conversations from your partner.
  • You look forward to spending more and more time with them.
  • You feel attracted to them and try to rationalize your feelings by thinking that your partner simply doesn’t understand you.

What to do?

If You Feel You Are Emotionally Cheating

Once you realize you are emotionally cheating on your partner, you have to prepare to have a tough conversation with them. It might not be easy to talk to them after a long distance, but it is better for your relationship in the long run. You have to understand how your relationship with someone else makes your partner feel. In this case, some ways you can recover from this area-

  • Apologise as many times as it takes.
  • Be patient while they try to process it. It may take time for them to forgive you.
  • Put in extra effort to show that you care.
  • Show them you are willing to work to save your relationship.
  • Try sharing your feelings with them.
  • Couples counseling can help you understand each other better and strengthen your bond.

If You Feel That Your Partner Is Cheating

If you feel that your partner is hiding something from you and this has made you two distant, there’s something you should do about it. You should talk to them and try to understand how they feel. Once you get to know the reason they have been acting emotionally distant, you can try to resolve the issue. Also, try to understand the reason why they felt the need to seek emotional intimacy from someone else.

If you talk to them, maybe you’ll understand the true nature of their friendship with the person. Try to keep an open mind and listen to what they have to say. If you are still convinced otherwise, you should tell them how you feel. If you think you can make your relationship work after this, try focusing on ways to bring intimacy back into your relationship. There is nothing wrong with forgiveness. If you feel that your partner recognizes their mistake and is willing to amend things, you should not feel bad for forgiving them. It is ultimately your decision and no one else’s place to comment. 

  • Keep an open mind about your future together.
  • Listen to them calmly.
  • It is not a straight road, the process of healing is not linear, and it will take time.
  • Tell your partner the things they can do that will make you trust them again.
  • Communicate. Tell them how they hurt you.
  • Consider couples therapy. It may provide you two with a safe space to reconnect. 

Final Word

There cannot be a healthy and happy relationship without trust. But sometimes, even the best relationships go through an emotionally distant patch. When this happens, remember why you love each other and focus on ways to recover. It is also important to remember that you did not deserve to be cheated on. Sometimes, people blame themselves and feel that they deserved what happened to them. You might feel that it was your fault that you were emotionally cut off and unavailable. However, you must remember that it was still not right on their side to abandon you like that, and you did not deserve to be betrayed.

You should do what you think is right for your relationship as well as your mental peace.

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