Self Worth And Self Growth – Underlying most of the emotional challenges we face, from depression to relationship problems, is the struggle for self-love.
When we don’t feel worthy and can’t accept our flaws and weaknesses, we either shove down our feelings (which manifests in depression and anxiety), or we express them in unhealthy ways (through anger, passive-aggressive behaviours, or dysfunction). We’ve forgotten how to trust ourselves and rely on our own beliefs and judgments. Instead, we look to others to build us up and manufacture our self-esteem. If others don’t like the person we are, we struggle to become someone else who meets the world’s approval.
Also, we get trapped in “the negativity bias,” an evolutionary adaptation in which we pay much more attention to negative beliefs and events than positive. We are simply wired to focus more on our flaws and shortcomings than on our positive qualities. With all of these challenges undermining our efforts for worthiness, it’s no wonder so many people suffer from low self-esteem. In order to embrace our true worthiness, we have to learn new ways of thinking and responding to the input we receive from the world around us. Having an internal positive view of ourselves and strong self worth allows us to accept ourselves as we are and appreciate what we offer to the world. Loving yourself is essential for being a fully-actualized individual. Here are some ways which will help you enhance your self worth promoting your self-growth.
Top 10 Steps for Self Worth And Self Growth
Step #1. Positive Self-talk
A research, which was led by researchers in Belgium, Germany, and Sweden, found that participants used the language regions of their brain while intrusive thoughts occurred, suggesting that negative self-talk is just that – a language-based format. The results provide compelling evidence that what we tell ourselves deeply affects how we think. It follows that what we tell ourselves affects our view of our own self worth. It also showed that the thoughts we have about ourselves are indeed important and that they often take the form of “self-talk,” or inner speech. Positive self-talk can help you rise higher in your career, family life, spiritual life, and any other area that matters to you. Friends and family members will notice your new-found confidence, and so will your co-workers, boss, and others. You just may find that positive self-talk leads you to some amazing new opportunities. When others say negative things, it’ll be less likely to take root in your mind, since you’ll already be filled with positive information about your worth.
Step #2. Focus on Things You Can Control
“One of the happiest moments ever, is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.”
Self-empowerment comes when we stop worrying about those factors and things that are out of our control and instead focus our attention on all those things we can control. You can’t control the outcome of a situation but you can control your effort, so focus entirely on your efforts. By focusing our attention on the things we can control in life, such as the person we will be, the integrity we will have, the love we will give, the way we will serve, the knowledge we will gain, the kindness we will show, the faith we will have, the attitude we will carry, the character we will exhibit, the relationships we will build, the thanks we will give, the gratitude we will show, the impact we can have. focusing our attention on all of these things will ensure that we build something that no one can ever take away. It ensures that we will have something that money cannot buy; something that exceeds any financial gain. It ensures that our lives will be successful beyond measure.
Step #3. Be Self-Compassionate
“How you treat yourself reflects how you let others treat you. If you’re unkind to yourself, you create a standard for how much abuse you accept from others and as a result end up attracting abusive and disrespectful relationships.”
Psychologist Kristin Neff was the first person to measure and operationally define the term “self-compassion.” She describes self-compassion as kindness toward the self, which entails being gentle, supportive, and understanding: “Rather than harshly judging oneself for personal shortcomings, the self is offered warmth and unconditional acceptance.” In other words, being kind to ourselves in good times and bad, in sickness and in health — and even when we make mistakes.
Having self-compassion means being able to recognize the difference between making a bad decision and being a bad person. When you have self-compassion, you understand that your worth is unconditional. Over the last decade or so, research has consistently shown a positive correlation between self-compassion and psychological well-being. People who have self-compassion also have greater social connectedness, emotional intelligence, happiness, and overall life satisfaction. Self-compassion has also been shown to correlate with less anxiety, depression, shame, and fear of failure. When we have self-compassion, we are less likely to depend on others to validate our self worth.
Step #4. Celebrate your Uniqueness
It can be hard to celebrate our differences; particularly when society tells us what is normal, and what to conform to. Your uniqueness is what draws people to you. It’s your edge and it’s like a magnet. You could say it’s your personal power. This is not about being perfect. It’s about being clear on who you are, but also who you’re not.
Giving up something to stand in your own uniqueness and let your value shine can be a challenging space to be. You may have spent so much time staying safe, fitting in, not rocking the boat and keeping the peace. Until you step in into your light everything stays the same. Only you can change that.. You have to step into your power and create your own show. Everyone out there is trying to achieve their potential, so you might as well be the best version of you and you’ll attract those who value you most. Your personality, your lens, and experiences have created something that others out there want to learn from you.
Step #5. Learn To Say NO
“The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life.”
Setting boundaries are one of the most important skills to master for both personal and professional growth. And one of the most important aspects is the ability to say no to the people, activities and engagements that we do not enjoy or that do not advance us personally or professionally. When you say no to the things that don’t help you, you are, in effect, saying yes to the things that will. By saying no, you open up the space necessary for yes. Whatever the psychological back story, whatever the reason, the fact remains that saying yes to too many things is overwhelming and counterproductive. By saying yes to too many things, we may be saying no to some very important things. If our plate is too full, there’s no room for the unexpected or ideal opportunity. If our fences aren’t strong, everything gets in.
Step #6. Don’t Be a People Pleaser
Trying to please others is like being on a hamster wheel. You keep running, and running, and running…and you get nowhere. It only exhausts you and stresses you out. The reason is this: you can’t please everyone, and you can’t even please one person all the time. But, you weren’t put on this earth to please everyone. Your opinion should matter to you more than anyone else’s. Yes, you need to love people, but it’s not your job to make them happy. You need to be your number one priority. When you put yourself first, everything will fall into place as it should Quit being a people pleaser and. This is a hard habit to break,. It is worth the effort, though. You will be freer, happy, and relaxed which will draw people’s attention without all the work and compromise.
Step #7. Practice Gratitude
The benefits of practicing gratitude are nearly endless. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. And gratitude doesn’t need to be reserved only for momentous occasions: Sure, you might express gratitude after receiving a promotion at work, but you can also be thankful for something as simple as a delicious piece of pie.
Research by UC Davis psychologist Robert Emmons, author of Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, shows that simply keeping a gratitude journal—regularly writing brief reflections on moments for which we’re thankful—can significantly increase well-being and life satisfaction. Our relationships with others are the greatest determinant of our happiness. So it makes sense to think of other people as we build our gratitude.
Robert Emmons suggests that focusing our gratitude on people for whom we’re thankful rather than circumstances or material items will enhance the benefits we experience.
Step #8. Surround Yourself with Positive People
There’s value in surrounding yourself with people who know how to lift their own spirits – which means they’ll probably lift yours, too. One of the best ways to find happiness is to find those who know how to nurture and create their own happiness and share it freely. Spend time around these people and you’ll find yourself seeing the world differently. A great way to connect with others is to share laughter or spend time having fun with them. You can almost feel your spirits lifting around someone who is willing to see the good in things.
Look around at your inner circle of friends and confidantes. Are they who you would like to become? Do you admire and respect them? If not, perhaps you should consider why you don’t and open your circle to new inspiration.
Step #9. Say YES!
Saying YES means making the most of every opportunity and encounter. It means taking chances to stretch your comfort zone, to overcome your insecurities, to beat fear, to get through failure, criticism, rejection, and embarrassment with a positive spirit. It essentially means knowing what you need “more” of in your life to help you live a more optimal life. And often the things we need most we resist because they make us feel uncomfortable.
It’s also important to reflect upon the fact that life’s opportunities are sometimes given to us, while at other times they are created. The opportunities you get today to say YES to something might not come along any time soon. In fact, you might not get these opportunities ever again. And unless you say YES to something, you will never really know what possibilities might arise.
Step #10. FORGIVE
Forgiveness is a very powerful quality. When you forgive someone you reveal something about your inner nature. The ability to forgive doesn’t come easily to everybody and so it will set you apart and bring you respect. Forgiveness also demonstrates growth and maturity. It is not easy after all to let go of the bitterness and resentment that the actions or words of others cause, especially when they affect the course of our lives. Nonetheless, there are times we need to think of the bigger picture, and to have a little more empathy for those around us. Your actions or words from the past should not define you for the rest of your life. The same goes for others. We’ve all made mistakes, and the majority of us have probably done or said things they regret. Hanging onto the past and to the negative feelings associated with it does you absolutely no good. Forgiveness can truly set you free, as you make your peace with the past and prepare for a new and better future.
So these are some tips which will help to enhance your self worth promoting self growth which would also help you improve the quality of the relationships you have with yourself and others.
Counsellors at Betterlyf would help you realize your precious worth! You may reach them at www.betterlyf.com or call them at +919266626435