What is Sapiosexual? Definition, Meaning, and Signs

Are you a person who just loves any form of a good intellectual discussion and you find that to be very attractive. Then, you can be a sapiosexual.

What is Sapiosexual?

As defined by the Urban Dictionary, a sapiosexual person is someone who finds intelligence and the human mind to be the most sexually attractive feature for a potential sexual relationship. Sapiosexual are stimulated or challenged by the way another person thinks. They are basically in love with the mind.

They may also like other aspects of a person too, like looks, nature, etc. But nothing is more important than the way a person intelligence would work.

It is hard to understand what may make a person see intelligence as sexually so attractive, however, what happened during our childhoods serves as a foundation of who we are, especially in connection with intimacy. Much depends upon our relationship with the opposite-sex, parent, our first love experience, and our first intimate encounter.

Perhaps what we look for in a partner is what we always wanted in ourselves. It also might be the catalyst or portal to knowledge of our deeper selves.

Signs That You’re A Sapiosexual

1. You Find People More Attractive As You Get To Know Them

Ever met someone and, though her beauty didn’t take your breath away? Something about how she conducted themselves, how she spoke and her confidence was undeniably appealing to you? Then as you go to know her, suddenly, she becomes way more beautiful? This is a clear sign of being a sapiosexual. A sapiosexual likes the way a person mind works, rather than other attributes.

2. You are More attracted By What She Knows Than What She Has

A sapiosexual would not be impressed with how the person looks or presents themselves. They would be more attracted with the amount of knowledge a person has.

3. You take it slow in a relationship

So much of what first brings couples together is based on that instant lock-of-the-eyes and scan of their body. However, for a sapiosexual, a powerful, intense attraction might happen far later in the dating process. Which gives them the opportunity to meet someone truly remarkable instead of someone who’s merely beautiful at face value.

4. You are attracted by Knowledge – In Any Form

“A true sapiosexual loves knowledge for the sake of it. The more well-rounded the knowledge, which can include basic knowledge of everyday facts to obscure Jeopardy! references, the better,” DePompo says.

Sapiosexual meaning

Sapiosexual is characterized as a person who is attracted to an individual for their intelligence. It is a type of sexual orientation where a person craves intellectual stimulation. However, many don’t view it as a real orientation, as they feel it is not related to gender preferences but some experts validate it as an orientation.

In other words, we may say that an individual gets aroused when they find someone to be smart. A sapiosexual’s interest lies in how the other person intellectually arouses them and not only by their physical appearance. It is also possible that people who identify themselves as sapiosexuals may disregard good looks and sturdy physiques in the first place.

They may not consider dating someone who woes them with roses rather they might consider a person who has woes them with wise words. To put it in a different manner, a sapiosexual might find the idea of receiving books as a gift very exciting rather than a perfume bottle.

Signs of sapiosexuality

1. Intelligence and smartness are at the top for you

If talking about science, discussing varying genres of books, exchanging views and opinions about politics, on dates interests you, then it is a good sign of being a sapiosexual

2. Intellectual conversation titillate you

Essentially, intellectual conversations serve as stimuli for physical arousal such as someone connecting with you at the thought level. You might not enjoy what they say but you like the idea of the intellectual discussion and you get aroused by it.

3. You require intellectual conversation before making love to arouse you

If you find the intellectual conversation more stimulating than physical touch during foreplay then it is a good sign that you might be a sapiosexual.

4. You feel an emotional spark is not as important as an intellectual spark.

If you feel that someone needs to share the same level of rationality (or beyond it) as you do, before you proceed into a sexual or emotional relationship then there is a high possibility that you are a sapiosexual.

Is sapiosexual a real sexual orientation?

Sapiosexuality is often missed in the discourse of sexuality and identity. A lot of people still do not acknowledge sapiosexuality as a real orientation and have questioned its inclusion under the LGBTQ umbrella as it is unrelated to gender preferences like pansexual, homosexual, bisexual, and other orientations. Sapiosexuality refers to a sexual orientation characterized by attraction on the basis of intelligence. Sapiosexuals are primarily attracted by an individual’s intellect and value it over physical attributes and personality. They feel aroused and open to engaging in physical intimacy upon having intellectual conversations with a potential partner. Intelligence is not an additional quality that sapiosexuals prefer but the primary driver for arousal itself. Sapiosexuals can identify as straight, homosexual, bisexual, or any other sexual orientation as well. As Sapiosexuality is not about ‘who’ the individual is attracted to but ‘how’ they are attracted to them. Sapiosexuality is also often confused with demisexuality. The two are however different. Unlike sapiosexuality, emotional connection and intimacy is the characteristic feature of demisexuality. Labels exist only to make a person’s experience validated and develop comfort and confidence around how one truly feels. If the term sapiosexuality resonates with your inner world and experiences, there is no reason that you should refrain from using it.

Sapiosexuality and Romantic Relationships: Is there an association?

One of the most important facts about sexuality is that it is self-defined. Sexuality entails our values, beliefs, bodies, desires, relationships, gender, thoughts, and feelings. Sexuality can be dynamic and determines how one expresses their sexual orientation. A part of sexuality also determines the sexual orientation which refers to how you are attracted to a person. The most common are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, and asexual. The American Psychology Association defines sexual orientation as “an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to men, women or both sexes.”

Unlike the different orientations such as straight, gay, bi, sapiosexuality is not placed in a spectrum. between those romantically, emotionally, or sexually attracted to people of different gender and those attracted to people with a gender identity similar to their own. It explains the correlation between gender and attraction and that it can coexist with other spectrums too.

Let’s understand sapiosexuality

Sapiosexual by definition means someone who finds intelligence sexually attractive. Wondering how it works? Well, let’s first understand the concept of sapiosexuality.

It starts and ends with the brains of the sapiosexuals. Their stimulation occurs with the intellect, thus it is considered to be the most important trait in the partner.

There are no restrictions as to who is a sapiosexual, anyone can fall in that category irrespective of gender or sexual identity.

When sapiosexuals are in search of a partner, they focus more on their potential mate’s intelligence instead of their looks. This means that superficial qualities like body shape, size, or facial features take a backseat.

How Sapiosexuality Works in Relationships

Let’s take a quick quiz.

Are you more interested in someone’s conversation about their bookshelf than their selfies?
Do you often find yourself drawn to the wisdom of the person exclusively?
Do you often find yourself getting attracted to after having a great conversation?

Well, if you are replying yes to the above questions you may call yourself a sapiosexual. People who consider themselves sapiosexual often find themselves in relationships with people who have a similar orientation. These couples often enjoy the intellectual activity as an integral part of emotional bonding and even physical foreplay.

If a sapiosexual person is in a relationship with a partner who doesn’t share these interests, it’s important for both people to work together to make sure that everyone’s needs are met.

People considering themselves as sapiosexual find themselves in similar relationships. Couples often enjoy an intellectual activity, as an integral part of emotional bonding and even physical foreplay.

If a sapiosexual person is in a relationship with a partner, where similar interests are not met, then it’s necessary to have a discussion around it and come to a common ground. There can be confusion around dating smart people and sexuality. The difference lies in the degree. For a sapiosexual, there is no gratification unless there is intellectual gratification. They are attracted to the inner workings of a person’s mind. A debate goes on around this topic to understand the nature of sapiosexuality. We can look into a few steps to understand how to communicate.

Paying attention to unique interests- One must keep in mind that typical conversation and seduction won’t work for them. One must keep in mind that no two sapiosexuals are alike, so there are individual differences. Maybe your first-word game move can charm them more than any other factor.
Alignments of interests- Understanding each other’s interests gives a good grip on interaction with each other. It will help you to be creative in planning out your dates and the intimate time you spend together. It will help you understand each other and the eagerness of learning more would turn on a sapiosexual, as well as the ability to flex their brain muscles on a topic they love.
Sharing passion- With sapiosexuals, there is always room to know more and give more. They will be interested in privy to your knowledge. It is intriguing if you can express your passion, and talk about the topic of your interest. While the roles change, they will expect the same from you. You can be acknowledging their points of interest and would be eager to learn about their experiences as well.

In the end, one must be careful that when one is using labels, be it for themselves or the relationships, one should be comfortable and confident with whatever they identify with. This helps you to be true to the relationship as well as yourself.

Sapiophile Vs. Sapiosexual

There is a thin line between being a sapiophile and being a sapiosexual. Sapiophile is a term that is used to define someone who is attracted to intellectual people. Whereas, the sexual attraction towards people who showcase high intelligence is characteristic of a sapiosexual.

In simple words, we can say that both sapiophile and sapiosexual are attracted to people due to the nature of their intellect and their brainpower. The difference is that sapiosexuals engage in physically intimate relationships with them, while sapiophile may not.

Sapiosexuality is all about being attracted to intelligence. If your fantasies include doing a crossword with your partner, then maybe you are a sapiosexual. If you search sapiosexual meaning in hindi and you will find a variety of answers on the internet but what does it really mean. If you feel you are having issues in your relationship due to personality differences, talking to an online therapist can help you overcome these issues.

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