What is Sapiosexual? Definition, Meaning, and Signs


Are you a person who just loves any form of a good intellectual discussion and you find that to be very attractive. Then, you can be a sapiosexual.

What is Sapiosexual?

As defined by the Urban Dictionary, a sapiosexual person is someone who finds intelligence and the human mind to be the most sexually attractive feature for a potential sexual relationship. Sapiosexual are stimulated or challenged by the way another person thinks. They are basically in love with the mind.

They may also like other aspects of a person too, like looks, nature, etc. But nothing is more important than the way a person intelligence would work.

It is hard to understand what may make a person see intelligence as sexually so attractive, however, what happened during our childhoods serves as a foundation of who we are, especially in connection with intimacy. Much depends upon our relationship with the opposite-sex, parent, our first love experience, and our first intimate encounter.

Perhaps what we look for in a partner is what we always wanted in ourselves. It also might be the catalyst or portal to knowledge of our deeper selves.

Sapiosexual Cure

Signs That You’re A Sapiosexual

1. You Find People More Attractive As You Get To Know Them

Ever met someone and, though her beauty didn’t take your breath away? Something about how she conducted themselves, how she spoke and her confidence was undeniably appealing to you? Then as you go to know her, suddenly, she becomes way more beautiful? This is a clear sign of being a sapiosexual. A sapiosexual likes the way a person mind works, rather than other attributes.

2. You are More attracted By What She Knows Than What She Has

A sapiosexual would not be impressed with how the person looks or presents themselves. They would be more attracted with the amount of knowledge a person has.

3. You take it slow in a relationship

So much of what first brings couples together is based on that instant lock-of-the-eyes and scan of their body. However, for a sapiosexual, a powerful, intense attraction might happen far later in the dating process. Which gives them the opportunity to meet someone truly remarkable instead of someone who’s merely beautiful at face value.

4. You are attracted by Knowledge – In Any Form

“A true sapiosexual loves knowledge for the sake of it. The more well-rounded the knowledge, which can include basic knowledge of everyday facts to obscure Jeopardy! references, the better,” DePompo says.

Sapiosexual meaning

Sapiosexual is characterized as a person who is attracted to an individual for their intelligence. It is a type of sexual orientation where a person craves intellectual stimulation. However, many don’t view it as a real orientation, as they feel it is not related to gender preferences but some experts validate it as an orientation.

In other words, we may say that an individual gets aroused when they find someone to be smart. A sapiosexual’s interest lies in how the other person intellectually arouses them and not only by their physical appearance. It is also possible that people who identify themselves as sapiosexuals may disregard good-looks and sturdy physiques in the first place.

They may not consider dating someone who woes them with roses rather they might consider a person who has woes them with wise words. To put it in a different manner,  a sapiosexual might find the idea of receiving books as a gift very exciting rather than a perfume bottle.

Signs of sapiosexuality

1. Intelligence and smartness is at the top for you

If talking about science, discussing varying genres of books, exchanging views and opinions about politics, on dates interests you, then it is a good sign of being a sapiosexual

2. Intellectual conversation titillate you

Essentially, intellectual conversations serve as stimuli for physical arousal such as someone connecting with you at the thought level. You might not enjoy what they say but you like the idea of the intellectual discussion and you get aroused by it.

3. You require intellectual conversation before making love to arouse you

If you find the intellectual conversation more stimulating than physical touch during foreplay then it is a good sign that you might be a sapiosexual.

4. You feel emotional spark is not as important as an intellectual spark.

If you feel that someone needs to share the same level of rationality (or beyond it) as you do, before you proceed into a sexual or emotional relationship then there is a high possibility that you are a sapiosexual.

Is sapiosexual a real sexual orientation?

Sapiosexuality is often missed in the discourse of sexuality and identity. A lot of people still do not acknowledge sapiosexuality as a real orientation and have questioned its inclusion under the LGBTQ umbrella as it is unrelated to gender preferences like pansexual, homosexual, bisexual, and other orientations. Sapiosexuality refers to a sexual orientation characterized by attraction on the basis of intelligence. Sapiosexuals are primarily attracted by an individual’s intellect and value it over physical attributes and personality. They feel aroused and open to engaging in physical intimacy upon having intellectual conversations with a potential partner. Intelligence is not an additional quality that sapiosexuals prefer but the primary driver for arousal itself. Sapiosexuals can identify as straight, homosexual, bisexual, or any other sexual orientation as well. As Sapiosexuality is not about ‘who’ the individual is attracted to but ‘how’ they are attracted to them. Sapiosexuality is also often confused with demisexuality. The two are however different. Unlike sapiosexuality, emotional connection and intimacy is the characteristic feature for demisexuality. Labels exist only to make a person’s experience validated and develop comfort and confidence around how one truly feels. If the term sapiosexuality resonates with your inner world and experiences, there is no reason that you should refrain from using it.

How Sapiosexuality Works in Relationships?

Sapiosexuality can be understood as a sexual orientation based on which a person gets attracted to someone only when they find them smart or intelligent. It is usually seen as an orientation with its own space because intellect of a partner is a very important pre-requisite for the sapiosexual individual to get attracted to someone. There are various ways in which it works within a relationship.

Firstly, it is not usually considered a part of the LGBTQ+ group because both queer and non queer folks can be sapiosexuals! Sapiosexuality is more about what is an important aspect to someone for them to get attracted to a certain individual.

A sapiosexual individual would be much more interested in a person’s thoughts, values, morals and opinions about something than how they look. The fact that they can have highly cerebral or intellectual conversations with someone else forms the base for this sort of orientation. Sapiosexuals will always find themselves getting attracted to someone mostly after having a deep conversation with them. They would test the waters and then if they feel like a spark existed in the realm of intellectual conversations, they will be naturally drawn to that person. It is not to say that other people would not consider “smart” as an important trait to date someone. It is to say that for sapiosexuals, this is the most prominent aspect out of every other criterion.

We can then also probably conclude that being an orientation, it is something that sexually arouses someone. This means that for a sapiosexual, a sexual attraction is felt through the source of this realization that their partner has a certain level of intellect that they admire or seek.

Sapiophile Vs. Sapiosexual

There is a thin line between being a sapiophile and being a sapiosexual. Sapiophile is a term that is used to define someone who is attracted to intellectual people. Whereas, the sexual attraction towards people who showcase high intelligence is characteristic of a sapiosexual.

In simple words, we can say that both sapiophile and sapiosexual are attracted to people due to the nature of their intellect and their brainpower. The difference is that sapiosexuals engage in physically intimate relationships with them, while sapiophile may not.

Sapiosexuality is all about being attracted to intelligence. If your fantasies include doing a crossword with your partner, then maybe you are a sapiosexual. If you search sapiosexual meaning in hindi and you will find a variety of answers on the internet but what does it really mean. If you feel you are having issues in your relationship due to personality differences, talking to an online therapist can help you overcome these issues.

Seeking help is a sign of courage. Don't let self-limiting beliefs hold you back from a life you deserve. Avail online therapy to become happier and better. Learn how

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