Life, as we see it, is a salad of emotions. We all have our moments of highs and lows, and of pride and plight. While most of us often have people around us to share our good times with, when it comes to the things that embarrassed us, situations wherein we failed to achieve something, any wrongdoing we are guilty about, or just an unfortunate event – a lot of us choose to keep things to ourselves due to a number of underlying reasons best known to us. On one hand, some may manage to keep mum and go on with life; the silence of a few others, however, may become self-destructive over time.
A survey conducted by Cadbury stated that about 77% of its respondents confessed to having the desire to share their highs and lows with someone. This means, that despite our choice to refrain from speaking about many of the challenges that we face, a lot of us secretly wish we had somebody who we could communicate our worries to. That said, the fact that sharing is a big step towards taking care of one’s emotional wellbeing should be acknowledged by the masses, since various Psychological studies have claimed majority of us to be undergoing stress in some or the other form.
Reasons We Don’t Share
- To appear strong & level-headed
- Pressure of other’s expectations
- To gain acceptance
- Fear of being judged and/or misunderstood
- To avoid conflict
- The desire to maintain peace & harmony
- Due to the assumption that nobody will understand our perspective
With over 57% people reported to be losing touch with their emotional side due to dependency on technology over the people in their life (source: Cadbury), it is important that we identify and understand the benefits of seeking therapy, and how it contributes almost magically towards the upliftment of our lives. A few of us tend to get lucky with friends wherein we are able to confide in them about our worries without any fear or worry. However, keeping aforesaid in mind, it is important that we take initiative to restore our emotional balance by reaching out to a professional.
Let us highlight the benefits of associating with a Professional Counsellor
Self-awareness and introspection
At times, there are certain aspects of our persona that are left untapped by us. With effective probing, a counsellor has the skill sets to pave the way that leads towards self-discovery. Also, as much as we want to avoid feeling the guilt for something we may have done or allowed to take place, some times it is important to accept one’s folly in order to be able to move on and be a better person. In such cases, counsellors ensure that one engages in human self-reflection, and consensually accepts things along with a vow to make improvements in their life.
Judgement? What’s that?
A natural by-product of an effective counsellor is their choice to never judge a person coming to them, ever. There are things people wish to share and talk about that may be unacceptable at a parental, social, or societal level. With a counsellor, however, one gets the window to communicate their feelings and come out stronger than before.
We all have those days wherein all we want is to be heard by somebody without asking us to stop talking, or giving us that saturated look. Enter: counsellor. As professionals, they take it upon themselves to help people feel a sense of belongingness by allowing them to vent their emotions. When we keep things to ourselves, it often builds up within us and grows on to becoming a stressor, which is something that can be absolutely avoided, if we choose to share how we feel.
Anonymity or screen name
A lot of the counselling and therapy services these days (including ours, of course!) offer the convenience of anonymity i.e., the choice to not disclose one’s name or personal credentials. Many-a-times, we may not only fear judgement, but also the fact that what we’re looking to share might reach the knowledge of somebody we want to keep it a secret from. By allowing people to remain anonymous, counsellors further facilitate individual comfort and ease. It also means that the counsellor’s focus is to help you achieve a peaceful state of mind, and not to know your name or background.
Improves self-esteem, self-confidence and social skills
It is natural for a person to feel low on their self-esteem levels over things in their life that are negative in nature. Be it the fear of public speaking, or the anxiety to perform well in one’s academics – all of these cast an impact on how we view ourselves, and how confident we are of our abilities and skill sets. Seeking therapy often helps instil a sense of credence and belief in oneself, because it is then that we come to realise the fact that sharing one’s concerns is in fact a sign of great strength. This in turn affects our social skills, and help us to build stronger interpersonal relationships with our family members, peers, colleagues, and acquaintances.
Inception of thoughts
When we are faced with challenges, it may, at times, become difficult for us to figure out ways to overcome them. Speaking to a counsellor may pave the way for new ideas – be it ways to rekindle relationships, new realisations, ways to combat particular kinds of stressors, or simple steps to ensure one’s own emotional wellbeing among others.
Identification of our priorities
We all have multiple things in our to-do list that we wish to accomplish, either within a certain span of time, or during the course of our lives. A leading cause of our inability to meet our goals and objectives is lack of planning. Counsellors help us realise what truly matters to us as individuals, organise our thoughts and priorities, and work towards achieving them in an efficient manner.
Acceptance beyond all rights and wrongs
The fear of judgement stems from lack of acceptance, and this is a cyclical process. A counsellor, on the other hand, will accept you for who you are, and all of this by virtue of being human. At times, just the feeling of having gained unconditional acceptance can really turn things around for the better for somebody!
Helps you relate to and understand others better
This is where the concept of conflict of interest may also come in. Each person perceives things differently, and so the same aspects of a situation or person may mean different things to different people. This may further cause a lack of understanding and lead to stressful events. Counsellors helps people understand the perspectives of those around them, relate to them better, and understand their feelings and emotions in an effective manner.
Tell you things you wanted to hear
Quite a few things we were previously told by people during times of distress do not hit us till it comes from a professional counsellor – be it telling somebody that they are strong and able enough to combat their challenges, or letting someone know that they are not the only person undergoing their kind of stress – it all allows a person to feel more confident and in-control of themselves. In simple words, many-a-times, people accept positive statements better when they come from a therapist.
A counsellor knows when a person is anxious, even without them openly acknowledging it. As professionals, they are trained to enhance their observational skill sets to an extent that enables them to identify moments of discomfort. From soothing statements to quick tips, counsellors help people overcome their state of worry, thereby making them feel much more at ease.
Enables people to regain emotional balance & realise self-worth
During our phases of low, we often experience emotional fatigue due to the stress that we undergo, which in turn results in the loss of emotional balance that is required to ensure our overall wellbeing. This is where therapists have a superhero like role-play whereby they help people channelize their stresses in an apt manner, and help them regain their emotional balance with their talk therapy.
Another benefit of associating with a counsellor is that they make you realise how valuable you are, by introducing you to yourself in a refreshed and positive manner. Working with a counsellor can also help one to plan out a fulfilling and happy life altogether – something that reminds me of our DialMyAngel statement:
“Emotional wellbeing is just as important to us as Breathing is!”
I now leave you to locate a counsellor-friend around you, and share without a care!