How To Deal With Friendship Problems
We all find this solace in different individuals who might play a variety of roles in our lives, while some may find their best friend in their mothers, some may do so in their siblings, or like many others we may just find that in our friend.
Along with such friendship comes a bag of expectations, opinions and comparisons. These may sometimes create barriers in our friendships. These barriers if left unresolved may escalate into frequent arguments, fights or negative thoughts and emotions. Taking care of a few simple things may help us avoid such.
While it might take a while to find someone whom we can trust and pour our deepest, darkest secrets, when we do find that someone we often wish them to be by our side at all times of joy, achievement, sorrow or confusion. While such expectations are natural to have what we tend to overlook is that our friends are also unique individuals who may themselves need to balance between different aspects and relationships of their life.
When Our Best Friend is Not Available
When we feel abandoned because our best friend is not available for us to share our emotions, reminding our self that it doesn't really mean that we don't hold importance for them anymore rather that they might be currently caught up in a situation which makes it difficult for them to communicate with us.
Also while we may be feeling extremely emotionally overwhelmed in the moment, our friend may not be aware of our emotions or their intensity. Hence, consciously reminding our self that while at the moment they are physically not by our side or available for communication, when you do communicate with them, they would be there to provide you with all their love and care.
When Our Best Friend Does Not Seem To Understand Us
When we invest so fiercely with our emotions and can share our heart out to someone we expect them to instantly understand how we feel and support us with all our decisions. Yet, there are times when our friends would stand strongly against our decision and may just not seem to understand how we feel.
In such situations while we may feel lost as the people from whom we had always expected unconditional support seem to disagree, from their genuine love and concern for us. Though they might think and feel differently from us, they would still be the ones standing by us no matter what decision we make and what might be the consequence.
When Our Best Friend Makes New Friends
When we choose to confide in someone and give that person such a role of importance in our life, we often feel that they become exclusive to us. While possessiveness often becomes an expression of affection for some in friendship, it might lead to conflicts when these feelings may evoke jealousy and insecurity.
Often when we experience our friend forming new bonds of friendship, we tend to feel betrayed as we assume it would devalue the bond we share with them or they might just replace us with their newly found companions.
Yet, what we forget is that as individuals we have the capability of having multiple bonds with the people around us and just as us, each of our relationships are also exclusive and unique. The comfort that your friend may have in sharing with you, or the understanding that they share with you is unique as it comes along with your perspective and personality which shall always remain unique to you.
To overcome such feelings, it is important to focus and build on the quality of the relationship you share with them, rather than the amount of time you both might be able to spend with each other. Even after the change in situations and relationships in their life, you may connect the same way with your friend whenever you communicate which ensures that your friendship can endure the change of time and situation.
When Our Best Friend Gets Romantically Involved
When our best friend undergoes this new phase in their life while we do feel super happy and excited for them, we also start feeling a little insecure and jealous. Suddenly we may not be the first one to know about all their life happenings or be their only companion in distress.
Having said this, while we are not the only one in their life yet we still remain their best friend. It is essential to remember that as different individuals we play different roles in our best friend's life and both these roles are irreplaceable and not interchangeable.
Though your best friend might find it difficult to balance between different bonds in their life in the beginning, we need to take it as a new change in their life through which we need to help them sail through. Helping them find a balance in the time they spend on each bond and taking initiatives to accept this new aspect of their life and connecting with their partner as well. This would help them be able to spend time with both their close ones together and not have to make the impossible choice between the two.
Maintaining bonds of friendship may not be as easy yet these are the bonds which help us through other difficult times of our life and make them easy.
Often our friendship may experience various other barriers such as feelings of love within friendship, difference in perceived success within career or academics or contradictory value system and lifestyle. Stay tuned to this space to read more about how to overcome those barriers and maintain strong and long lasting bonds.