Men in our society are portrayed as physically strong, dominant, stoic, and always in control. Women on the other hand are considered to be fragile, sensitive and expressive. Throughout the course of time we have seen men and women live up to their designated roles, for men-that of a bread-winner and protector, for women- that of a nurturer.
Owing to this mindset, men from the very beginning are taught to be strong both physically and mentally and to always be in control. Even as children, boys are not allowed to express their emotions like anger or sadness even when they are upset or hurt. Instead, they’re told not to cry because it’s not a manly thing to do. So, eventually they grow up to become emotionally confused by being unable to identify and manage their own emotions and that of those around them which implies that they have a low emotional intelligencequotient.
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability or capacity of an individual to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. People who are not aware of their emotions often tend to fail at controlling them. Being conditioned from the childhood to be strong and not cry/express themselves, men tend to suppress their emotions which is one of the main causes of maladaptive behaviours like substance abuse, alcoholism, delinquency, getting into toxic relationships, self-harm etc.
Studies suggest that when we’re stressed, Adrinocorticotrophic hormone levels increase in our body, and if the stress is prolonged, ACTH gets accumulated which needs to be released, if not, it causes more stress. Studies have also suggested that people who are more aware of their emotions have positive outlook towards life and are better at dealing with difficult situations, and adopt healthy coping mechanisms to better deal with stresses of life.
Since it is ingrained in men to not display emotions openly, it’s less likely that they’ll start expressing themselves all of a sudden, however, there are few ways that can facilitate emotion expression.
Several researches have been conducted on emotional intelligence and they suggest that high emotional intelligence is strongly associated with better health, both physical as well as mental (Nicola Schutte et.al). It implies that people who are aware of their emotions and can express themselves properly are better at handling them.
Although there are several studies that suggest that men and women are equally capable of emotion expression, it only differs from person to person and situation to situation. Therefore, no research indicates that emotions are gender specific, and thus discouraging men from emotion expression affects them adversely instead of benefitting them. As they deal with various aspects of life, we expect men to understand emotions displayed by others but not be in-tune with their own, which is not only unfair but also unrealistic.
“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
― William Shakespeare
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