Comparison and Competition

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Children always look up to their parents to receive unconditional love and acceptance; they can be often heard saying, "You love the other one more than me". Parents want the well-being of their child and worry when their children are falling behind be it in academics, career, extra- curricular activities but it is important to convey it in the right way. Comparing the child , be it with their sibling or with any other kid can lead to feelings of insecurity , inferiority and even lead to unhealthy rivalry among siblings.
In matter like these it is very important to:

  • Appreciate the achievements and accomplishments of children
  • Recognize and understand each child's unique talents and abilities
  • Spend quality time with each child alone separately
  • Understand that each child has their own unique set of abilities, talents, interests and passions
  • Never force or push a child into activities or a career path solely on the basis of the sibling's accomplishments or interests. This might lead to feelings of resentment and might cause sibling rivalry
  • Treat each child fairly and justly in case of conflicts
  • Allow each child to put forth their viewpoints
  • Teaching them how to resolve their conflicts in a positive manner allows space for healthy communication
  • Inculcating treating each other with respect in case of differences of opinions
  • Set children up to cooperate rather than compete.
  • Planning family activities that give space for bonding between family members is crucial. If children have enriching experiences together, it acts as a buffer when they come into conflict as It's easier to work it out with someone you share warm memories with.
  • Make sure each child has enough time and space of their own. They need chances to do their own thing, play with their own friends without their sibling, and to have their space protected.
  • Celebrate each child's unique idiosyncrasies