Fear of Wrong Choice

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What if he smokes cigarettes with his friends? What if he starts drinking? What if she starts dating? How will I monitor their online activity? What kind of people will he befriend? Every parent has a strong protective instinct about their child where they want to shield their kids from the ugly dark side of the outside world. Though as parents we might feel helpless as our innocent toddlers grow up into young mature adults and we might exercise discipline to protect them from harm's way but as parents, one needs to keep in mind that discipline is indeed an integral part of bringing up a child but the degree of discipline needs to be altered keeping various things in mind. Too much of it can have adverse effects on the child be it scolding, shouting, frightening, imposing, making them guilty etc. There will come a time when children will be more influenced by their peers than by parents and we won't have control over that. The panacea to this malady is:

  • Having faith in your parenting abilities
  • Bestowing trust on them every step of the way
  • Showing them the way rather than forcefully making them walk on our desired path- Making them think rather than imposing rules on them
  • Being a good role model- Parents are the first agents of socialization in a child's life. Children are great imitators so we should give them something great to imitate
  • Reassuring children that they can reach out in case of any indecision, confusion or crisis
  • Letting them make their own independent choices
  • Holding them accountable for their actions
  • In case of wrong behavior it's very important to explain to them why that certain act is wrong rather than just imposing punishments
  • Letting them learn from their mistakes
  • Most importantly being there for them when they need our guidance.