“Imagine I had to call you because I cannot get over my breakup”
“I will sound too silly to talk about my breakup with my friends, I’m not weak”
“Just give me tips on how to get over my breakup in your 10-minute free consultation session”
“How can a breakup lead to a breakdown, there must be something wrong with me”
“I’m just not able to function, sleep evades me, so does life. How Do I get my old self back?”
Said the distressed callers who could not get over their past or were so overwhelmed that they reached out to google for help.
Moving on is tough, and one can experience a whole range of difficult feelings, complicated thoughts, obsessive behavior patterns, which can affect one’s productivity at work, quality of relationships with friends and family and squander one’s self-esteem & self-image.
Instant and quick fixes may help to distract ourselves for a short period of time or numb the pain for a while but don’t resolve the emptiness and hurt we experience.
How Does Moving On Feel Like?
|Verbal Cues||Non-verbal Cues|
|Isolated||Emotional or binge eating|
|Lack of acceptance||Excessive spending|
|Talking about memories repeatedly||Disturbed sleep cycle|
|Aggressive or violent over trivial matters||Stalking on social networking sites|
|Disturbed routine||Acting out to be moved-on|
As a mental health professional I truly agree dealing with breakup is indeed a challenging task because the loss is irrevocable, the pain is unexplainable, the feeling is uncontrollable, the state of mind is overwhelming, emotional and psychological investment in the person is gone for a toss. Loss of interest, sleep, appetite, detachment and lost social interest takes charge and control us.
Realizing one’s partner is unfaithful and cheating on you emotionally or sexually.
Family and society’s interference and un-acceptance of one another may be a cause for parting ways.
Class, status, conduct, emotional and mental understanding of one another and life situations.
Often we are unable to express or explain the cause of our behaviour or words. We might be scared but take it out as anger. There are also many other external forces that intervenes in our relationship leading to miscommunication and misjudgement of past and present equation.
We all have few expectations from our partner, we are also ready to adjust and compromise few things here and there, but in long run these unfulfilled expectations from the partner may lead to an unhealthy bond.
Relationship can be abusive in many ways be it emotional, sexual, physical or psychological in nature and lead to deteriorating of the relationship and eventually it’s end.
Such challenging and overwhelming situations can be dealt systematically and strategically in a therapy session where the aim is to help you overcome breakup as per your response and tolerance level and move towards emotional healing.
The package on moving -on after a break up deals with
Session Structure (Important Aspects)
Revolves around understanding the gravity of the situation and severity of emotions. It will allow you to develop a trusting relation with your therapist and gain an assurance that you are not alone in this journey, you have reliable person to guide you through the challenging phase.
Working on overwhelming and challenging depressive emotions that we want to fight hard but does not seem in our control. We definitely know this is not how we want to feel and control the situation but that feeling of helplessness and powerlessness overtakes us. So therapy helps us understand on bad days where we feel at our lowest, how do we deal with ourselves, our emotions and the memories that accompany a break up.
Loss of a relationship forces us to think how our few actions or whole me would have stopped this fateful event from happening and I wouldn’t have to go through this painful event in my life. Thinking so, we knowingly/ unknowingly slip into a vicious cycle of self-blame or self-criticizing mode that does not allow us to see the flip side of the coin.
Heartbreak isn’t most definitely not easy to cope with especially when we have this whole lot of negative and sad emotions overwhelming us. However in order to develop emotional wellbeing and growth, consulting a therapist is important to be fair with ourselves by evaluating right and wrong, giving ourselves the same benefit of doubt that we would offer others and it begins with Acceptance.
A break up is an unfortunate experience and brings along with it tremendous pain. Through therapy we explore ways to move responsibly because one loss should not lead to many more losses i.e. relationship was one part of life, not the entire life. Taking accountability of other aspects of life and moving on with positive self-worth is the ultimate goal of therapy.
Follow up session to understand how each session goals have impacted me and how well I am dealing with loss/void/ emptiness. As dealing with break up is a process hence there might be days where we feel we are back to square one, hence follow up sessions are required to deal with such days.