Marriage Counseling

The term couple counselling can generate the idea of couples sitting in front of the counsellor. They are facing some issues in marriage and the counsellor listening will provide some idea about how to fix these concerns with her saint like advice. However, the reality is bit different. It takes hard work, dedication and commitment to maintain a relationship.

There are some pioneering approaches to marriage counselling in recent days which include Emotion-Focused Therapy, Gottman Approach etc. According to the statistics provided by The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists report a success rate of 98%. The success of couples therapy and other factors contribute to decreasing divorce rates over time. Marriage counselling indeed brings a new perspective to relationship by strengthening from different aspects.

The key to a long term, healthy relationship is trust, patience, love and adjustments. When there are two people involved in a commitment, disagreements, differences and fights are inevitable. Marriage counselling provides the couple to look into their issue from a different perspective, empathize with the partner, enhance communication thus resolving issues in a healthier way.

Marriage counselling can be sought at any point of time. It is a misconception that counselling is required only there are issues. In fact a significant number of couple consult a marriage counsellor so they can work on different aspect of themselves as well as relationship like effective communications, adapting to the new life, parenting, stress etc.

However, there are few signs that couples can consider in general:

• Indifference towards partner or relationship- If you see they are not taking interest in this relationship or you, not bothering to care when upset, no desire to spend time, lack of interest in physical relationship etc it’s time to consult the marriage counsellor.
• Fights- When you notice that every communication is ending up with a disagreement, it is likely that there will be no productive outcome from it. Sometimes the source of these fights can be due to intrinsic patterns of the individual or some external factors which the couples might not be able to recognise. A marriage therapist will help recognising the dysfunctional patters which comes as a hindrance to genuine interaction and a healthy debate.
• Lack of intimacy- Its normal to maintain the constant intimacy throughout the relationship. However, one should start take the warning signs when there is a lack of interest in maintaining the intimacy. The marriage counsellor can help the couples get back on track by identifying the underlying causes if any and work towards the resolution.
• Unfaithful- Infidelity in relationship can be a major hurdle. It is actually a blow to the trust which is difficult to get back. There are numerous reasons for infidelity, maybe emotional or physical. A marriage counsellor helps in identification of these traits, reasons and thus helps in empathizing with each other.
• Lies and secrets- Some white lies are accepted in any kind of relationship. However, when these lies or secrets are about some significant topics, it means the foundation of trust has to be rechecked.

These are some signs which can be considered before marriage counselling. There is no shame in working hard for something one cares for.

Marriage counselling takes hard work, dedication and well strategy. Without a proper plan to achieve the goals for it is a never-ending loop of solving the recent problems. However, there will be nothing about focusing on solutions.

Often it happens that the therapist is not well trained which can make very little progress. Therapists must be trained and should have experience in evidence-based marriage counselling models.

Apart from this the couples looking for therapy should be dedicated as well. The goals of the couple are essential, clarification of specific needs. These variables affect the length of time in marriage counselling.

Marriage counselling helps couple understand each other from a different perspective. It is much more than resolving conflicts. The therapist provides tools to communicate better, understand each other. The therapist helps pinpointing the sources of conflict and try resolving it. The sessions help in getting idea about solidifying the relationship. In some cases, such as mental illness or substance abuse, your marriage counsellor may work with your other health care professionals to provide a complete spectrum of treatment.