Most of us have had jitters making that first conversation with someone from opposite gender which is quite common and natural to experience. It's not easy approaching a person of the opposite sex as there is:
- Pressure of making a good first impression- We think that if we do not make a good first impression then we wouldn't be able to face the person again or get another chance to interact with them as they might have already formed an image about us.
- Fear of being judged - The fear of judgment is all the more pronounced when it comes to someone from opposite gender.
- Lack of exposure - Lack of exposure renders fewer opportunities to meet and converse with a member of the opposite sex and understand, internalize and experience the dynamics of such social interactions.
- Low self confidence- When a person evaluates themselves as inferior to others be it in terms of physical attractiveness, conversation skills, social conduct, it makes approaching the opposite gender an arduous task.
- Societal imposition of gender specific rules- There are certain implicit rules that are ascribed by social and religious institutions for conduct with the opposite gender.
- Gender sensitive remarks- It is imperative to take into account that there are certain unspoken rules of social conduct that one needs to take into consideration while interacting with the opposite gender.
We play out a lot of scenarios in our heads - What if the person thinks I'm not interesting enough. What if I make a fool of myself? Will that appear desperate? Being liked by the other person becomes a matter of utmost importance.
A few things that might help to overcome this fear are:
- Circle of concern/control- We can't control other's perceptions just our actions.
- Making Assumptions- . Interaction starts by giving the other person a chance and we might end up with special meaningful bonds that we might end up cherishing for a long time.
- Rehearsals in front of the mirror - This technique has been proven to aid in improving self-confidence.
- Practice with close family members and friends can aid in boosting self confidence