What is it to be a child of a Single Parent

25 year old Anisha was going through a tough time in her life. She felt that her family was incomplete without her mother and she could not confide in her father regarding what she felt or the challenges she faced. Her adolescent years were rife with disagreements, fights and misunderstandings as she couldn’t talk to him about the teenage issues that she experienced. She felt that only a mother could understand all those struggles and provide guidance, affection and assurance that she needed at that time.

She felt shocked and embarrassed when she found out that he was dating another woman. She was not able to accept it and couldn’t share it with her friends or her social circle out of fear of ridicule.She couldn’t make sense of how to feel about this new development. She was upset that her father was trying to replace her mother.

How Counselor Sonia helped her gain perspective

• The counselor provided a safe place for Anisha to vent out her feelings of loss, anger, frustration, loneliness and sadness
• Coping mechanisms were explored to deal with the negative feelings of abandonment, sadness, dysfunction
• Healthy channels of communication was fostered as she had always assumed that he wouldn’t understand but never talked to him.
• Anisha’s perspectives regarding the situation and her father were explored and it was found out that he used to feel lost and helpless at times.
• Through therapy, it was found out that they both could bond over books which brought them closer. Activities were scheduled in a day to strengthen the father daughter relationship.

How Anisha felt better

• Through stress management, Anisha was able to effectively deal with situations wherein she felt embarrassed or upset in social gatherings
• Coping skills helped her in overcoming feelings of the emptiness and void she felt in her mother’s absence
• Understanding the expectations that she felt were unfulfilled and the alternatives to achieve the realistic ones
• Through insight development, her fears and anxieties were explored and communicated clearly
• Healthy boundaries were established in the family regarding realistic and unrealistic expectations. This helped her to gain the confidence to have a clear discussion with her in-laws which also gave her the confidence to communicate her needs without a compromise.